Ode to Joy

Do you want to be happy? We hear that from so many self help books, seminars, gurus and mom. Do you want to be happy? Such a simple question, but with so many implications. Are there people out there that don't want to be happy? Do you wake up one morning and say "I'm going to make my family, friends and co workers miserable." I'm sure there are. Anything is possible but for the majority of us we strive to become happy. But what makes us happy? What is happiness anyhow? Is it something you can buy? Possible. Is is it something that is shared? If you're lucky. Why do so many people want it and why are so many people not?

I'm doing my best to find my happiness. For such a long time I was not happy. I wasn't miserable either. It's not that I had a horrible home life. I have a family, a roof over our heads, food is on the table but something was lacking. I was missing something...me. Lately my happiness has been in spurts. One weekend I did everything in my power to make everyone around me happy and I failed on so many levels. Then the next weekend I let everything go its own course and everyone was happy.

How do I find my happiness? Well I'm still floundering on that one.I know what my goals are. I'm trying new things like camping, kayaking, hiking. I'm even doing dance lessons and exercise in the park and I am getting out more. Meeting people, going to events,  just in general having fun. But will that make me happy? Will it make my family happy? Maybe my husband will be happy for me knowing that my goals are met but I don't think it will make his happiness any more so. My children are proud of me for just trying to make myself better but that doesn't make them any happier.

"No one can make you happy, only you can make yourself happy." That's something that my husband used to tell me. I hate to admit it but he is right. In this point and time of my life I'm not horribly miserable but I'm not ecstatic either. As I am changing I notice that the people around me are"better" if I can use the word. They are not ecstatic but they are not crying. I see for myself that I can change my situation for the better! I can get what I want if I work hard and long for it! I can be happy!



                                                                  

Help My Family is Sabatoging MY Diet

Trying to feed your family right and get the proper nutrition for yourself is something that I have had a hard time doing. I have tried many different styles, diets and food fads to kill an elephant. The problem is your family has learned to eat a certain way and to veer from that type of eating is declaring war on your household. Not to mention to eat right for you is not always the right way for growing, still developing children. We don't need the fat. They still do. The human brain is always growing in a way. It can replace lost cells and nerve passage ways throughout your life. In some ways, the behavioral part of the brain is developed to a large extent by the age of 12. Other behavioral aspects continue into the mid twenties. But the brain cannot develop properly if its not getting enough fat. Not sugar fat, or fast food fat but good healthy fat. (From avocado, meat, chicken and very important fish to name a few) People mistakenly get the wrong types of fats into their diets. I had to go through many different types of meals before I found one that we can all agree upon. 

The one that I have chosen (I should say my family has chosen) is a Mediterranean style eating. (Think Greece, Croatia, Italian) In this type of eating I have laid out many different types of food. From dairy (cheese slices, yogurt, cold milk, hard boiled eggs), starches (mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, couscous, Quinoa, bread) veggies (raw/steamed broccoli, carrots, bell peppers, fresh tomatoes), fruit (oranges, apples, grapes, mango, olives) on the table. Then I give them a small piece of meat/fish on their plate. They pick and choose what they want to eat and everyone is happy. Surprising enough this doesn't cost anymore to eat this way. It does take more preparations, but cost wise eating on one big plate was more money then eating like this. And everyone is happy and full. What ever is leftover is used for the next day's meal. 

Portion control is a must as well. Too much of a good thing can still be bad for you. American's have the mentality of "More is Better". With that we have an over excess of everything...(except money). Bigger houses, more clothes, abundance of food than the rest of the world. The rest of the world looks at Americans as gluttonous. Unfortunately I have to agree. We have become so spoiled with getting more of things that our waistlines have expanded with the rest of our lifestyle. To train yourself to eat off of a small plate is hard to do. I eat off of 6x6 plates. That's what our portions should be. To go beyond that is asking for a bigger midsection and more clutter in your home. It's not easy, but nothing worth the effort ever is. Find the right diet for you and your family and not only will you have a happy home but your waistline will thank you for it.

Breakfast in my house

Let them pick and choose

                             

Fe Maidens

After you have walked for about 3-4 months your body starts to develop a routine. This routine needs to get going. Your body craves the hard work that you do to it. Later after a great workout you are tired, relaxed, sore (mostly sore), and your head is clear. But something is missing. You need more. You feel like you have to push yourself. Walking is not cutting it. That is when weight training comes in.

The one myth that I am told the most is "be careful or you won't look like a girl anymore. You'll get these huge muscles and start looking like the Hulk." The truth is unless you are genetically gifted and have the dedication of Gandhi you will not look like those amazing and beautiful women who compete. Those women have thousands of hours in the gym. Their dedication to their sport goes beyond any normal gym rat that maybe lurking in the shadows. So to put it short lifting weights will not put hundreds of pounds of muscle. Unless you want it too. Weightlifting is a fantastic way to loose weight and tone up. Forget about those huge muscles that you think you'll create because that type of dedication is not happening at this point. But then, when you get to that point, your weight problem will be over.You won't be reading my blogs, you'll write your own.

One of my greatest help that I have received is a book. It's called The Men's Health Big Book of Exercises by Adam Campbell.  This book has it all. All exercises for every muscle group. Useful diet information. And a no shit explanation of why you should do something. This is my bible. Here I started tailoring my weight routine. I was able to find a meal plan that was perfect for me. Not only for me but also for my family. This is a big change. You don't do this, lose the weight and quit. Your whole life changes. This IS your life. I've noticed that if I go one day ,(that's not to be a scheduled rest day), of not doing my workout I feel rotten, almost sick even. If I do a crappy workout at least I did it. (It becomes more mental)

If the Big Book is my bible then www.T-Nation.com is my preacher. Here you will get honest answers to any question that you may have. But beware. They will tell it like they see it. If you are one to get offended easily then don't go to this site. They will tell you to get off your fat lazy ass, put down the Twinkies, and get a life that you will be proud of. But that was putting it nicely. The men/women of BioTest Laboratories have tested, proven, trained, failed, succeed just about every diet, fad, exercise and mental stability there is known to man. If they don't have the answer that you need, someone somewhere on that site will find it for you. They are also very forgiving to newbies, and will help you navigate the tremendous information, (both useful and hype) on what you should do to get the results that you want.

Men's Health Magazine is another good source for information. Here you will learn the latest in equipment, products and what's on men's mind. Ladies please don't be discourage that the sites that I'm giving you are tailored mostly for men... There are women's sites and magazines, but with those they tend to be trendy or don't tell you all the facts. I like to use both. Women's Health magazine is also a good magazine. As I said before they can be a bit trendy. It does have useful information and articles. I just find that I like going to mens sites because men don't want to BS you. They don't have time for the runaround. So it's too the point and that's what you get. My time is precious to me. I don't have an abundance of it.

The next thing you should do is keep a log. I know, I know sounds cliché right.  But it is a way to show you how well you've progressed. In this log put down what you have eaten for the day, did you workout, what you did and your basic thoughts. You will look back later and realize how much you have changed. Your mental thinking will have grown as your body get healthier.

These are just a few things that have gotten me started. See what you think and set your own routine. Not everyone is tailored the same. What works for your family (and yourself) will not necessarily work for me. I will talk more about what I have done to get me to the point that I am right now in another blog. I hope this helps.

Slowly I'm getting there!

                                                          
Dedication at it's finest

Time to Start

     With my last few blogs I talked about why I needed help to change my life. Now I'm going to talk about how I'm going to do it. My appearance is a big deal. When you walk out your door and you see a handsome man/woman you think to yourself wow they are nice looking. You don't know a thing about that person. As far as you know they are as dumb as a stick. But the part that you notice first is their appearance. Attraction is the main feature that helps us with our self esteem. The more notice you get (especially from the opposite sex) the happier you are. Men for example can go astray if a beautiful female shows them some attention that they are not getting from home. It doesn't have to be sexual just simple conversing seems to go a long way with men. Women on the other hand need that same attention. But we just want it from one person. The man or woman that we love. When that person no longer tells a woman that she is beautiful we cease to be beautiful. We get bitchy, angry and turn into something that we don't want to turn into. This usually happens right after kids.
      When the kids are born we become protective, nurture animals. We do everything in our power to make sure our little "cub" stays alive. We go so far in that raising that we lose all identity. I know this from experience. I am in no way a doctor or psychologist. But I lost everything about me just to become a mommy. I do not regret it for a minute. My children are smart, wonderful, well mannered kids. That is due to all our hard work that we put into it. But it does come with a price. I was tired. I didn't want to put on make up or dress up. Why? So my baby thinks I'm pretty. I wasn't being told from my husband that I was beautiful in any way. But to plead his case I didn't give him any reason to say it. The more tired I became the more lost I was. I am finding myself again.I know that I can always improve myself. So to start off I am,as you guessed it, improving my appearance first.
     The question that I get is "I can't afford a gym. How can I lose the weight?' Now you don't need no stinking gym to have a good work out. Start off by walking. Yes the good old put one foot in front of the other method does worlds of good when you are just starting off. You really don't want to run because that's putting too much pressure on your already tired knees,leading to injury. I always hear of these over weight women saying "I'm training for a marathon". I can not think of a worse thing to do to your body. All that pressure multiplied a hundred fold on every jump you do on your poor knees. But getting a good pair of shoes and walking for the first 3 months does your mind and body wonders. I always feel good when I come back from a walk. I feel clear headed and my mood is lifted. If I walk with my friend I feel even better. I can rant and rave to her while I walk. All that anger goes away that when I'm done I feel calm. I can face my family again. Walking with a partner is the best therapy that I can think of and it's free. I very rarely walk on a treadmill. I feel more frustrated if I do. All that walking and I went nowhere.
     That's my first starting period. I started to walk and take hikes all over my town. Later I added weight training to my exercise. But that's another blog. Smooches!